Nothing is Easy
Tonight I realized something. Nothing about parenting is easy. When you choose to have a child, I'm not sure that this is considered. Sure, they are cute and fun and almost always challenging in a great way...but they are also fragile, innocent, and easily hurt. My daughter, Lilly, will be 7 next month. She is at a tricky age. She has the sweetest heart to go along with her super sassy attitude. She passes out "i love yous" and hugs like it's nobodies business...but that girl can give you a look of 1000 deaths. I had Lilly as a teenager...so we have literally grown up together and as much as I'd hate to admit it....she is just like me. And with that comes some challenges of their own. She doesn't always communicate how she feels but I have learned her personality to a tee. That is why it is so hard when you KNOW something is bothering your child but you are unable to communicate it with them. Lilly just got home from Spring Break in Oklahoma with her dad's family. They are absolutely wonderful and love Lilly dearly. While she was there, her dad and soon to be step mom had a gender reveal party to announce the gender of their baby due just three weeks after ours. From everything Lilly tells me, she had a wonderful time and is very excited. Well, here is the thing...she is telling me one thing...but acting a completely different way. Since she has been home, she has consistently called Josh, daddy. This is very out of the ordinary for her. We have never pressed the issue and left it up to her. On top of that, she has been very clingy and super sweet. Not to say I'm not loving this...I just know that something is up. I began thinking about all that is going on in her life. Both her dad and I are expecting a new addition to our families, making her go from being an only child of 7 years to having 2 little brothers in the matter of weeks. Josh and I have been looking to move out of Canton and Lilly understands that she will no longer be going to school with the only friends she has every really had. And on top of everything I believe her dad will be moving back to Oklahoma sooner than planned...
My poor baby.
Her little life is being turned upside down. I can only imagine that she feels like she is being left behind with all these new, BIG, changes. I think we have been making a good effort at not making it sound like this baby is in any way, shape or form more important than her...but how do I know if we have been successful with this? This little girl's heart is THE most important thing to me in this world and all I want to do is protect it. It makes me realize that every choice we make, every word we say, effects her directly. Like I said in the beginning...nothing about parenting is easy. Even loving them is challenging in its own way. All I know is we have to do the best we can, every single day, to express to our children how much we love them and show them that their feelings matter.
Being a parent is the hardest job you will ever love.
.JPG)
