Dreams

"Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe."

Oh the dreams I have had in my life. To be a doctor, to be in the WNBA, to marry Justin Timberlake... Yes I know that there are some dreams that are unrealistic but I stand strong in saying that if Justin Timberlake were to meet me he would fall madly in love and want to spend the rest of his beautiful life with me :)

Anyway...

Throughout the course of this crazy thing we call life, our dreams change, along with so many other aspects of our lives. Sadly, I have lost track of my dreams. I'm not even sure what they are as of now. I do know that I love my family and I want Josh, Lilly and myself to have a beautiful life together but that's where I get stuck. What next? I will look at how my dreams have evolved and maybe get some answers and go from there.

The Big Apple

When I was in high school my goal in life was to be a journalist. I loved to write. I would write whenever I could no matter what the reason. I would write short stories while I was at work or in class. I wrote for my town's newspaper whenever they gave me the chance. Besides basketball, writing was my safe place. It let me escape from reality into a world of words. When I was a senior I was blessed with a trip to New York City for my senior trip. Needless to say, I fell in love. By the end of my trip I had decided I was going to be the next Carrie Bradshaw (the Sex and The City tour we went on had much influence on this.) I was going to major in journalism while playing basketball in college. I would get as much writing experience as possible and the day after I graduated....I would be gone. I was bound and determined to live the life of a struggling writer in New York City.

I would live in a small apartment made fabulous in my own way

and I would run everyday through the beautiful Central Park.

I was going to make it happen and there is no doubt in my mind that I would have. But a struggling writers income is not what  I would call family worthy. One day though, I know I will write again.

The Dream Within Reach

Every single day I play with thoughts of my future. Although I don't seem to getting any closer to an answer, I do feel like I have an option that I could very much make a reality. My brother, Kyle, lives in Boulder, Colorado. When he graduated from college, he up and moved to Brekenridge, Colorado to be a childrens Ski Instructor. I admire him for having the correge to leave the only kind of life he has ever really known to just start a new one. A part of me has always been jealous. After a few seasons of ski instructing and his continuing job as a white water rafting guide, he lives in Boulder and has an "adult" job. He absolutely loves it there. Not too long ago Josh was doing some research and learned that the Aurora/Denver Fire Departments are in the top 10 highest paid fire departments in the country.

Hmmmmm...

Could we leave Texas for a new beginning in Colorado?

Could we wake up to this every morning?

and enjoy this beautiful town at night?

Absolutely we could. And we very well may. My brother and his girlfriend are there and will help me however I need. My family is there. A fresh start and new beginning is there. Once again...Im not any closer to a decision.

Home

Yes you are reading that right. Three thousand two hundred and ninety two people. This is the place I call home. I moved to Canton when I was 12 from Coppell. Talk about culture shock. I struggled growing up in Canton to no one’s fault but my own. I made pore decisions which led to a miserable high school experience. It is also obviously small and doesn’t offer much in terms of entertainment. No movie theater, no symphony hall, no musicals or malls.  We do have the famous Dairy Palace though...

And thank God for that.

 Despite all that, Canton is a good place. It is the kind of place I could see raising my children. I know Lilly would be happy never leaving Canton. This is where both mine and Josh's families are.  Not only do I think it is SO important for Lilly to be near our parents, I can’t imagine being that far away from my mom or baby sister. Every day we spend here, every volleyball game or pep rally I go to, every time I help Sydney with her homework it makes me want to be here. The hard times for her haven’t even begun yet. A part of me thinks I need to be here for her through high school. I don’t want to miss out on her life. Something else I think about often is having Lilly start and finish school in the same school district. I never had that opportunity. For her to graduate high school with the same kids she was in Kindergarten with would be such a neat experience.

I have so many things to consider and most days feel like I’m no closer to a solution. I just continue to pray and I know that God will lead us to where He feels is best for us. I will continue to search and peruse my dreams.

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 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5

Advice is greatly appreciated so go right ahead and share your thoughts with me. Oh and if you’re ever in my neck of the woods let me know....we will definitely make a trip to Dairy Palace :)